Monday, January 19, 2009

My Testimony on my little girl's funeral 01/17/09

Reagan Marguerite Newman


First, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and prayers, and for joining us on this sorrowful but joyous occasion. It means so much to my family and I. To quote MercyMe “I’m finding myself, at a loss for words, and the funny thing is, it’s ok.”

On November 7, 2007, God blessed my wife and I with a beautiful miracle baby. For 14 months I watched as she captivated so many people with her precious smile and hypnotizing eyes. She began to speak and walk, and being a father of two, took on a whole new meaning. Before I knew it, my baby girl, was running around, terrorizing her brother, and waiting for somebody, anybody to chase her around. She grew such a personality, such a yearn for adventure, and such an appetite!!! This girl could eat, if you were eating, she was begging. That’s just how it went.

As the days of our lives became routine…I took the little things for granted. I would give anything to come home from work, one more time, and have you waddle to the front door. To see you smile one more time at me. To hear one more “Da-Da.” I would give everything to have one more anything from you. But, fact is, I’m an addict, and for an addict, one is too many, and a thousand is never enough. See, I could never settle for JUST one more, I would want more and more and more.

Reagan, our faith tells us, we will see each other once again. It is then that we will not have to SETTLE for just one more anything. We will get to have all of you once again. So you go be with God, be a good girl, and you learn your way around heaven. So that when God calls us to come home to heaven, you will become our teacher, our idle…and our hero.

My faith has not always been so strong, and my actions not so great. But God broke my chains, and let me experience a freedom like no other. I do not understand Gods plan for me, but I trust in it. Our God is a Great God, and has taken Reagan for a reason. Now that we no longer have our little “reagie girl” to hold on to, our faith in God’s plan is ALL we can hold on to. Isaiah 41:13 says “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” This tells me, that like a lost child, he will guide me. And Deuteronomy 31:6 says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” This tells me he will protect me and give me strength. And Proverbs 3:3 says “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” With this I feel God telling me, as long as I have faith and love in him, everything will be ok.

We know that our pain will not be over tomorrow or next month, but it will become bearable with time, and if, out of this pain, one single person would come to know the glory of God and experience the freedom we have felt from the relationship we have with him. Then and only then would this pain be worth while.

I would like to read you something a close friend gave us the other day. When I read it, it gives me strength.

I'll Never Walk Alone

From sunrise to sunset

Even through the night,

My Father has assured me

He'll keep me in his sight.

He's promised to walk beside me,

He gently holds my hand

To lead me and to guide me

So I'll see His promised land.

He never promised my journey

In this life would be struggle free,

But compared to His great sacrifice

My troubles became smaller to me.

I take great peace in knowing

That while I dwell in

this earthly home,

God is always beside me and


Again, on behalf of Karen, Aiden, and the rest of my family, I thank you. We ask only that you live today for today, and may God bless you all. Thank You.

1 comment:

  1. To the Newman Family,
    I heard your story when my sister called me a few days ago to ask us to pray. I find myself not only praying for you, but grieving with you. What you've experienced, and continue to experience, matters. It matters to God, other people, and even me--someone you may never meet. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Shelley Hendrix